An Invited Guest

 

John Tures

 

       Lady Nancy screamed as a creature slid down a thread from the ceiling.

       “Winston!” she exclaimed, catching her breath. “It’s….a spider!”

       “Ah yes,” her husband acknowledged from behind the London Times, sitting in his overstuffed chair in the drawing room.

      Nancy waved her hands in front of her chest, hoping to ward off a dramatic swoon. “You really should roll up your newspaper and save me by giving this dangerous insect a good smacking.”

      Puffs of pipe smoke rose above the pages. “He’s an arachnid, and that would be rude to smash him. After all, I accept his presence, Nancy.”

      His wife gasped. “You….”

      Sir Winston interrupted her. “Yes, he’s my invited guest now.”

      Nancy remained defiant. “Insect or arachnid, it’s a deadly creature that could probably kill us with a single bite.”

      “Nonsense, my dear,” he harrumphed, remaining shielded by the day’s news. “The only ones with any sort of lethality can be found in America and Australia.”

      “But…he’ll make sticky webs!”

      “Ah, yes, my lovely. I’m rather counting on it.”

      Nancy nearly spilled tea from her China cup. “But…why?”

      Winston put down the London Times. “Darling, you remember the Nevilles?”

      She nodded.

      Winston twirled his handlebar mustache. “Well, they have had a rather nasty infestation of ants. It’s the reason why they haven’t had their Spring soiree.”

      “I was beginning to wonder,” she admitted.

       Winston continued his lecture. “It’s the same with the Effinghams. They’ve tried poisons, traps, all to no avail.     Being an educated man, I thought I would peruse the latest scientific journals for a solution. A French Biologist named D’Estaing speculated that natural predators would be the best at killing agrarian pests. I then considered what would hunt ants. Spiders were the simple solution.”

     Nancy seemed unconvinced. “But what shall we do when it is time for our own festivity next month?”

     Winston tapped his skull knowingly. “The servants shall remove the webs, along with their cocooned victims, beforehand. When the last of the human guests have departed, our invited guests shall return to protect our castle against the tiny invaders.”

     Nancy bit her lip. Though she detested the sight of spiders, the thought of those beastly ants ruining this year’s ball was even worse. Silence became her reluctant assent to her husband’s scheme as she considered the spiders on the walls. He resumed reading his newspaper.

      At that moment, one of her husband’s invited guests emerged from underneath the sofa, crawling ominously toward her feet. She gasped, desperately attempting to pull her legs to safety in her chair without exposing her ankles under the hem of her dress, a serious faux pas should any servant enter the room.

       She made her special clicking sound, summoning her protector. Then Ilsa, her cat, flew from her side table and landed upon the eight-legged creature, the blow strong enough to kill the spider.

       Winston peered over the Times in horror. “What the devil?!”

       Nancy smirked. “Just following your wisdom, dear husband, and summoning my own invited guest.”

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Dr. John A. Tures began writing for the El Paso Herald-Post in high school. He wrote for his college paper at Trinity University in San Antonio and at Marquette University. He earned his doctorate at Florida State University, analyzed data in Washington DC, and is now a Professor at LaGrange College. He writes a weekly column for newspapers and magazines. He has published a number of short story mysteries and thrillers. His book Branded was just published by Huntsville Independent Press (see free chapters here: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/nfdmpqmn91). He thanks family and friends for listening to his stories. His author site is here: https://www.johntures.com/about-the-author/.

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KJ Hannah Greenberg is eclectic. She’s played oboe, participated in martial arts, learned basket weaving, and studied Middle Eastern dancing. What’s more, she’s a certified herbalist, and an AP College Board-authorized teacher of calculus. 

Her creative efforts have been nominated once for The Best of the Net in poetry, once for The Best of the Net in art, three times for the Pushcart Prize in Literature for poetry, once for the Pushcart Prize in Literature for fiction, once for the Million Writers Award for fiction, and once for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay. To boot, Hannah’s had more than forty-five books published and has served as an editor for several literary journals.

Check out her latest short fiction collection, An Orbit of Chairs:

https://www.amazon.com/Orbit-Chairs-KJ-Hannah-Greenberg/dp/B0CWMMM73T

 Within its pages are two tales originally published at Yellow Mama: "Alive Another Day" and "Light Notes."

Channie's new art book, Life's Colors, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FGCTHJ6Z, just launched (hit "read sample" button). It contains images originally published by Yellow Mama.