Lost Control

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LindaAnn LoSchiavo

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           In another world, I inherit my stepfather’s Bonneville, carnal red paint job barely disguising secret body work.

          We would celebrate my learner’s permit by driving to an abandoned mall, his half-moon eyes dark as potholes, watching me attempt K-turns, the faulty transmission an inaccurate machine gun.

          Looking down from the high seat of imagination, thanks to a conjurer’s trick, this time nothing turns to a pile of crushed metal.

         In this reverie, maybe the EMTs will not show up to pull me from the wreckage.

         Maybe sunset will not knife the belly of the ambulance, that hiss of cold evening air the insistence of a warning. But why?  Why didn’t I hear the dead moan, waiting its turn?

         Maybe language won’t fail me when I watch what I was never supposed to see – thick Daddy hands, that once gently shepherded me from sofa to bed, growing dark fur, sprouting thick claws, brutal in their grab.  Raw untamed hunger.

        In another fantasy, the scent of stew greets us as the Bonneville rumbles into our driveway, our clothes still clean – this time without the chorus of angry neighbors.  Before the blue-black flow of asphalt bled into bad memories.

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        Native New Yorker and award-winner, LindaAnn LoSchiavo is a member of British Fantasy Society, HWA, SFPA, and The Dramatists Guild.

          Books in 2024:  “Always Haunted: Hallowe’en Poems” [Wild Ink], “Apprenticed to the Night” [UniVerse Press], and “Felones de Se: Poems about Suicide” [Ukiyoto].
          Accolades: Elgin Award for “A Route Obscure and Lonely” and Chrysalis BREW Project’s Award for Excellence for “Always Haunted: Hallowe’en Poems.”
Twitter: @Mae_Westside
YouTube:   LindaAnn Literary: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHm1NZIlTZybLTFA44wwdfg